Summer Nirvana

Summer has so many attributes that I love, although it can never top autumn in my mind, it certainly gives it a run for its money. Have you ever had one of those days, were you don't really have any where else to be, you don't really have anything else to do, no one is expecting anything of you and this calm, serene peaceful feeling comes over you. It does not happen much in my life. Usually there are millions of pressing details every day that make those days just ordinary days. Only about one day of the year do I get that special feeling. Everything is good in my world, I have no worries and this state of mind just overtakes me. It is the day that you take the time to stop to smell the new rose that has blossomed, the day that you sit on the veranda with a cold beer and you SAVOUR it, not just drink it, the day that you really hear the different sounds of the birds twittering in the garden, the day that you realize that there is a hummingbird nest just a few feet from the veranda railing and it has been there all along and you just never LOOKED before. The day that you taste a warm from the sun, wild raspberry and you don't think that you have ever tasted anything so perfect and sweet. I imagine that this feeling is like the state that people obtain when they are deep in meditation. It's just too bad that it only happens one time a year.

Why do we push ourselves so hard? Why do I feel the need to fill every waking moment with some sort of productive activity? Why, when my whole yard is weeded and pristine, I decide to build a new brick wall and yet another flower bed? Another obligation that has to be met with regards to weeding and watering and dead heading. Another job, in an already "bursting at the seams" schedule.

Contentment. Why can I not achieve it? Why do I only get to feel calm and rested and wonderful just one day out of 365. IT'S MY MOTHER'S FAULT!!!!!

My mother is the proverbial energizer bunny. She never stops. She never rests. She can accomplish more in one day than most people do in a week. She expects perfection, she is demanding - on her body, on her production, and on her expectations. My need to fill every moment with activity is directly a result from being raised by an over achiever.

I have read that if you have an abusive or alcoholic person in your family, it takes four generations to undo the harm that one person has inflicted on the family. Looking at Mom and myself and Megan (my daughter) I can tell with absolute certainty that we are still a good four generations away from achieving a more peaceful, slothful, relaxed, lazy version of ourselves.

With that in mind, I am going to go and weed the vegetable garden.