Virtual Living

In this new age of reality TV and "virtual" anything, I am constantly amazed at how smart human beings can get. You can go to "virtual school" on the Internet without setting a foot in a classroom, get a "virtual haircut and color" to try out different options before the hairdresser takes the scissors to your hair, get a "virtual 3D printout of your house" with optional shingle/siding combinations - just about anything goes. Well, my family has finally entered this new way of doing things!

It started with my obsession to Food Network TV. I am an addict. However, I don't really have the time to cook anything that I see. I watch while folding clothes, scrapbooking, prepping classes - anything that I can do in front of a television, Food Network is on in the background. I scribble notes and then go and buy the ingredients that I don't have, but that is where it stops. Mike has even started watching with me in the evenings. We get a bowl of cereal for supper and munch on it, while we watch Guy Fieri pig out on diner food in his show "Diners, Drive Ins and Dives". It was Mike that observed one night that we were having a "virtual food" experience. We watch, we buy, we go to bed hungry (but inspired). The photo above is actually a pulled pork sandwich, or rather, it would be if it had progressed beyond buying the spices for the rub.

The way that I look at it, virtual food can never be cooked wrong, always looks like it could be on TV (because it is) and never leaves a trail of dirty dishes. It is cheap (notice that I did not buy the pork shoulder) and there are great dining experiences every evening. Tonight we are doing Italian!

To Even The Score

Today was my 28th wedding anniversary! After ranting about Mike on the really bad, no good, horrible day, I feel sort of bad about announcing that I was plotting to kill him in his sleep. We have had two whole consecutive days of peaceful productivity on the renovation site and so to even the score, it is only fair that I even the score by listing some of the not so nice things about living with me that drives him to plot my demise from time to time. In all fairness, he probably has more just cause to do me in. (I may just be feeling a wee bit sheepish, now that my red oak floor is down and he is taking me out to supper for our anniversary) So here are some of the little details that drive him right up the wall...

1) I have never filed our income tax on time since the first year we bought the roofing company (1983 to be exact). I only do bookwork when threatened with jail time or when the banker calls and asks for a deposit. I hate paperwork! I think that if I was allowed by Revenue Canada to scrapbook our income tax, I probably would get more excited about it. But since they will not allow a picture of the John Deere tractor with a very cute, distressed tag (with an even cuter co-ordinating eyelet and fibre) that states the price we paid for it or a photo of the fertilizer truck going around in our field and excellent heartfelt journaling about the outrageous price we had to pay, I am doomed to a life of filing at least three to four months past the acceptable time.

2) I do not believe that when a gas tank is sitting squarely on "E" that it is empty. In my world "E" stands for "enough". You can almost see the veins pop in Mike's neck when he jumps into a vehicle that I have been driving and he notices that it is running on fumes. Some day this theory is going to get me into trouble, but I have never had to walk yet. See, it works!

3) I really irritate the hell out of him when I innocently ask "What's the plan?" when we are about to start something. To my way of thinking, a quick discussion about an action plan is in order whenever something is going to happen that I am not quite prepared for. A few minutes of getting everybody on the same page would be better that fixing the mess that I can create when I don't know what in the hell I am supposed to be doing. One would think that after 28 years, this simple question would not ellict the response that it is sure to bring. Funny thing is, I can not stop myself from asking! I have stood in the middle of the cutting chute, many a time, and debated in my head if it was worst getting run over by the pissed off mother cow, or asking Mike what the plan was. Actually, the cow laying me flat probably could not have been much worse than having Mike leap off his horse and come at me like a gorilla because I let the wrong cow through the gate. In my defense, most of our cows are black baldies and how was I supposed to know that you meant "that exact" black baldie (you dumb ass).

4) I color my hair - so what? Who would have ever thought that a simple trip to the hair dresser could cause such a ruckus. Yes, I admit it is not cheap, but I do not have fake boobs, plump lips or liposuctioned body parts. I just color my hair. Well, my dear husband has figured it out that at $100.00 per session, every five weeks for the last six years, I have spent $6240.00 on my hair and it was absolutely not necessary. Who in the hell do you think gave me those grey hairs in the first place????? (At least he has not figured out that price does not include all of the fancy shampoos and conditioners that I have bought to keep the color from fading)

5) Not thinking about what I am going to cook for supper until it is 6:00pm also gets me into alot of hot water. Nothing irritates him more than having to remind me what time of the day it is. Hey, who made me the chief cook and bottle washer? Where in the wedding vows did I state that I was willing to do all of the cooking and all of the bill paying? I'm too busy scrapbooking. Why don't you thaw something out if you know that I am not going to do it?

6) Crying in the bathroom is another no no. That is my go to place when I am feeling misunderstood, overwhelmed or mad. At least I go away. Crying in the living room would be so much better??? It reminds me of my most favorite movie "A League Of Their Own" when Tom Hanks bellows "There's no crying in baseball!" Maybe for some husbands, a sobbing wife would ellicit some compassion and an apology. For my husband though, it is like waving a red flag at a bull. Actually, as I have "been in the bathroom" several times during this renovation episode, I have developed another reason for going there. Where else can you get even by dipping a toothbrush in and out of the toilet?

7) Putting away just about anything that is Mike's that is sitting out is sure to cause havoc. I am known as "Mrs. Clean" and I must admit that I do earn that name. I can't stand to see a glass sitting by the water coooler, shoes on the mat in front of the door, a piece of paper on a table. It just bugs me. So I put it away. Again and again and again. I know that it has become a game in my house. Megan will put the pillows upside down on the couches, zipper side up just for the pleasure of seeing me turn them around. As soon as I leave the room she will flip them back. I have a photo frame in the hallway with shutters that close over the photo. She will close them. I will open them. She will close them. I have tried not to react and actually made it about one hour (after noticing that the shutters were closed), but that is as long as I could make it. I once had a rug in front of the front door that had tassels on the ends. Everytime someone would pass through the foyer, they would get out of line. After watching me one evening, straighten the tassels for about the fifth or sixth time, Mike got up from his chair, opened the door and threw the rug outside into the driveway -didn't say a word and went and sat down. From the look on his face, I knew better than to go and rescue my rug. Okay, so maybe I am "slightly" OCD, maybe I do press a few of his buttons occasionally.

I guess that living with me can't be all that bad. We have made it 28 years so far with out any domestic violence charges being laid. Possibly, could it be because I don't own a pick axe?

My 10 Random Rants

Yesterday was a tough day for me. These constant ever changing piles of mess that I would like to call "renovations" are getting the best of me - I have never been very good at chaotic situations, I get anxious at even a little disruption of my normally orderly life and yesterday was chaotic beyond description. It seems that for every step that we take, ahead, we take two steps back. This is a little snippet of yesterday...
1) Mom and Dad show up unexpectedly, with the big oak mirror for the master bathroom and about 100 feet of baseboard. Of course, they needed to work in the master bathroom, which was also the room that Mike had started work in. Mike vacates the bathroom. (Not happily)
2) One light fixture goes up without incident, one light fixture reminds me of the commercial on TV where the lady rips the candelier off of the ceiling and jumps up and down on it. After at least an hour of screwing around, we finally cut the damn thing off of the ceiling with a recipcocating saw and started over. Many, many bad words!!!!
3) Who knew that the assorted screws laying around in the sawdust and the bits of plastic and trimmed wires were important???? Obviously, from the commotion that happened when it was found out that I cleaned them up with the rest of the mess and threw them away, one would think that the hardware store was out of screws for good. Geeezz - it was just a few screws, I didn't throw a baby away!!!!
4) Then we started on the flooring in the bathroom...maybe husbands and wives should never work together. Here I am, all eager to please, I admit I don't know the first thing about anything, but at least I am a willing body, that is there to learn and to help. How do you spell D.I.V.O.R.C.E. ? Five hours later, I am contemplating putting a pick axe through his head. The best part - when it is all over, he says something like "Well, that wasn't too bad." Who are you kidding, buddy? I already have planned out in my head at least five horrible, gruesome ways that I can kill you in your sleep. Seriously. Very seriously.
5) The drywaller does not show up to tape and mud. Would have been good to know about two days ago, when I stayed up half of the night to clean up and get ready for him. Now everyone else has sawed wood and made a mess out in the addition, you can't even tell that it was cleaned.
Breathe deeply, get the broom, start over. Actually, Ashley came to my rescue and cleaned it up - I think that Dana could tell that I was "on the edge" and she sent her over to help.
6) About supper time, I noticed that a water line was leaking and dripping all over the new flooring that we had just installed - THAT SPECIFICALLY SAID NOT USE IN ROOMS THAT HAD MOISTURE. Of course, it was the third piece of tile that we had laid and now there was water underneath it and to fix the problem, we would have to rip out all of the floor that just took us five hours to lay. I opted to dry the floor, fix the leak and say nothing. If there is a God, please, please don't make us rip the floor out and start over. Just in case, I made sure that I have some travel money and my passport - because I am NEVER going to go through that hell again!
7) So, all I wanted to point out was that the whole length of ceiling beam had to come down before I could fix the ceiling and WHAM!!, my Dad decides that I am being picky, packs up his tools and goes home. I guess that was one observation more than he could stand from me today. I think that I just lost the only worker that was still talking to me. Maybe it was the tone in my voice????
8) We have had no running water since I turned the dripping water line off. Bathroom facilities are pretty primitive around here. Plumber does not show up either. Great. At least no one is going to catch me peeing outside in the bushes, as no one is ------- showing up to work anyway!
9) Ashley and I spent two hours prying carpet staples out of the subfloor where the new hardwook is going down. A stupid guy must have put them in. Who needs 10 staples per square foot??? Where did they think the underlay was going to go once the carpet was down??? I am sure that some dude did it on purpose, knowing full well that in ten years or so when the carpet needed to be replaced, some poor lady was going to have to pull them all out. I'd like to find that guy right about now...
10) I was dusty and dirty and there is no running water, or coffee, or a toilet that flushes. Most of my fingers were bleeding. It seems like we accomplished nothing in the grand scheme of undone and half done projects, my back hurt and I had a head ache from continuously running air compressors. Mike, Mom and Dad are all mad at me. Ashley looked like she was scared as she sped out of the yeard. I was glad to call it quits for the day.

Oh great, I was still expected to make supper. How does hamburgers flavored with srynine taste?

New French Doors!

Yahoo!! New French doors into the workshop have been installed, and are they ever a time saver. That is the one nice thing that has happened around here lately, everything else SUCKS!!!

I hate electricians (sorry if anyone takes offense to that) but they are the worst set of contractors that we have had on this project, to date. First, they came without warning and because I was not working in the workshop that day, they proceeded to work, without moving, covering or in any way attempting to protect all of the paperwork, kits and supplies that were in their path. A half an inch of sawdust on my worktable, with all of my shipping books and files open, all the kits laying there waiting to be invoiced - a huge, huge mess. Then they punched a hole right in the middle of the newly painted ceiling and didn't say a word, until Mike pointed it out and asked them what had happened. Some lame excuse about tapping on the ceiling with their knuckle . What??? A big hole that looks like a hammer hit it. Really??? How stupid do you think we are? Then they took a perfectly painted wall and tore a rip in the drywall about four inches long - didn't say a word, until we asked about that. The best one though happened when I was cleaning up all of the mess the next day and noticed that a wooden chair was "under" my 8 foot shipping table. Odd. When I went to remove it, I found that the table was being supported by the chair because the legs on the table were broken. Instead of using the ladders, they had tried to stand on my table to put in a light fixture. What a pain in the ass, four steps ahead, three steps back - every day! I hate electricians!

We would never get away with leaving a job site in such a state. We clean up every roofing or eaves trough job perfectly before we leave. We were called back once because there were three rubber bands from the coil nailer left up on the roof. That was a little extreme, but you get my drift. I can not believe the outrageous piles of sawdust, cut off wire and junk that they left behind. In a house!!!!! It took me a full day to clean up after one ceiling fan installation and two light fixtures. Not to mention what it is going to take to repaint that section of ceiling and one wall. I took photos (just like the CSI agents) and I am going to deduct some money off the final bill. I never thought that I would become one of those complaining customers, but here I am. My final button has been pressed.

I had one evil thought...the next day that they come here to finish the job, the breaker might just accidentally get turned back on at an inopportune time. Maybe a jolt of 220 running through their bodies would be good payback. Just thinking....

Dessert Recipes From Cindy

Here you go girls!! The recipes that you requested... I sure hope that I can explain things properly, as my recipes are pretty scant on instructions as they have been handed down many times and are made more by instinct than recipe. Good luck!

Orange Chiffon Cake

(325 degree oven )

2 1/4 cups sifted cake flour
3 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup cooking oil
1 cup egg white ( 7-8 eggs needed), reserve 5 egg yolks
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp cream of tartar
2 tbsp. grated orange peel
juice of two oranges plus water to equal 3/4 cup liquid

angel food or chiffon cake pan required

Measure and sift the following dry ingredients: flour, b. powder, sugar and salt

Whip until stiff: 1 cup egg whites, cream of tartar

Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and add: oil, egg yolks, grated orange peel, juice mixture. Mix by hand to make a smooth batter.

Gradually pour batter over egg whites, while gently folding.
Bake 70 minutes at 325 degrees.
Invert to cool.

Orange Sauce For Chiffon Cake

*** make only half of this recipe if you don't plan on serving the entire cake at one time. It makes alot of sauce!!!!

2 cups water
3/4 cup orange juice concentrate
1 package instant vanilla pudding
1 cup whipping cream, whipped until stiff

In a mixing bowl, combine everything but the whipping cream. Whisk briskly, until slightly thickened. Add whipping cream and fold together. Serve over cake slices, vanilla ice cream is optional. Store leftovers in fridge.

Fruit Pizza

- this is not for the faint of heart - but we do not count calories at scrapbook events, do we girls???

(350 degree oven for crust)

Crust
1 cup butter
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda

Cream butter and sugar together, add beaten egg.
Sift flour, b. powder and b. soda together.
Add to creamed mixture and mix on low speed until smooth.
Add:

1 tsp vanilla
1 cup coconut
1 1/2 cups rolled oats

Mix together.

***** Only use 3/4 of this batter for the crust - or you will be sorry!!! This is way too much dough for one pizza pan full of fruit pizza!!!!!!!!!! I'm warning you - oven cleaning will be required!

Spread on greased pizza pan or baking sheet. Moisten fingers with water to work the dough into the pizza shape.
Bake at 350 degrees for about 15-17 minutes, or until cookie is set in the center. Cool.

Cream Cheese Sauce

1/4 cup white sugar
8 oz. cream cheese, softened

Mix together and spread on cooled cookie crust. You want to spread within an inch and a half of the outside edge of the crust, so that some of the crust shows around the edges.

Arrange fruit on top of the pizza. We used: grapes, kiwi, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, canned orange segments. All that matters is that you have a good variety of fruit shapes, sizes and colors. See, you can use scrapbook design techniques to decorate your dessert!!

Glaze
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup orange juice, fresh or frozen concentrate
1/4 cup water1 1/2 tsp corn starch

Heat glaze in the microwave until thick and bubbly. (couple of minutes)
Cool
Drizzle over fruit pizza, trying to cover fruit so that it will not dry out.

Remember to tell everyone that loves this dessert that you got the recipe from the Monday Night Class Summer Scraptacular!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to everyone for coming out and spending the day with our crazy team. We loved seeing you all and look forward to seeing you again at the Jingle Bell Crop in November!!

Happy Baking, Cindy

National Nature Photography Day

Did you know that there is such a thing as National Nature Day? It is sponsored by the North American Soceity of Photographers to promote people getting out into the countryside and taking photos of all of the beauty around us. Every year, in mid June, you are supposed to hit the trails for a day and capture images of plants, wildlife, scenery etc.

I could not photograph how many sunflowers were blooming on Indian Hill, because it was sloping away from me, but this whole valley is covered in wild sunflowers today. This picture was taken looking south from where my new workshop sits. I have to drive (or walk) over this hill everyday to work. Poor me, eh? As far as you can see it is nothing but sunflowers!

My First Random Encounter

I love the idea of "10 Random Things"!!! So here is my list of 10 things that I hate:



1) mice - first and foremost, I am totally creeped out by mice. If anyone wanted to torture me, all they would have to do is put me in a sealed room with one mouse. I would be insane in a half an hour. Seriously!! Which reminds me... when Megan was five, she put a dead mouse on the brake pedal of my car, because she was mad that I would not let her have a "third" Popsicle. I have never paid her back for that. Note To Self.

2) drywall dust - it is everywhere in my life right now. Hate, hate, hate it!!!

3) cold weather - I have Reynauld's Disease and cold is my enemy. The only time that I will be too warm is when they cremate me. I have battery operated socks and gloves that warm me up and have ordered a battery operated coat off the shopping channel to keep me cozy this winter. (It definitely is not a fashion statement) My one fear is that someday I will fall into some water and short out! (Maybe I will get the curly hair that I always dreamed about!)

4)mail - actually, this item should be up there with mice on my list of all time hates. Mail is evil, there is never anything exciting....bills, past due statements from bills that have been misplaced from all of the MAIL cluttering up my life, forms that have to be filled out like CAIS or gas rebate forms, WCB forms (prove that you are amputated?!??? Are you kidding me??) Never a nice letter from a friend or a card or a surprise amount of money or a notice that you are going to be published!! Just stupid, evil, mind sucking bills and forms. This is making me mad just writing it down....

5)computers that freeze or refuse to open things that you really need - always happens on shipping week.

6)headaches - I get a lot of those. See item #4

7)magpies - Why do we have them anyway? Why could they not be the next species to become extinct? What are their exact purpose in life? I say that we kill every single one that we can find, then stuff the last damn one and put it in the Smithsonian. Good riddance! My dog food bill would go down by hundreds of dollars every year and I could sleep past 6:00am in the morning.

8)Diet Pepsi. I really get irritated when a waitress tells me that they do not have Diet Coke. They always want to know if Diet Pepsi would be okay. Hell, NO!!! If I wanted a Diet Pepsi I would have ordered one. Do you really think that they are comparable?? Idiot...

9) confrontation - okay, so I ordered the Diet Pepsi (instead of saying what I really thought)

10) clutter - Christy, I am sorry that I delete all of your emails and then ask you the next day to resend them, because I have discovered that I need them after all. Clutter on a computer, in my car, in my house, drives me crazy. I am a minamalist - keep it simple, organized and keep it clean. Drive everyone around you crazy because you have thrown away all of their stuff, put their glass in the dishwasher, deleted their emails. Sorry! But it just ticks me off when my husband says something like "Have you seen that envelope with the ladies phone number in Hillspring that I put on the table two weeks ago"? YOU MUST BE -------KIDDING ME???? That sucker was long gone the same day that you put it there!

There! That is 10 things off my chest and I am ready to enjoy my day!

Just Me and My Friend

I had to take a photo of this just to prove to everyone that my dog is OCD just like me! Muppy loves to lay on the back of the leather loveseat and look out the window. He DOES NOT like to go outside - definitely a "house" dog. He sits there for hours and hours and watches the birds in the yard, the cats on the deck and all of the trucks that come and go from our yard.

Recently, Megan bought Muppy a chew toy, a little stuffed dog with bright red ears and tail. Muppy has to have the little dog where ever he goes. The first time that I saw him moving the chew toy around on the back of the loveseat, I did not think anything of it. I thought he was just playing around with it. About a week later, as I was scrapbooking ( my work table is in the livingroom) I noticed him fussing around with the toy, but this time it looked to me that he had a purpose in what he was doing. I kept scrapbooking, with one eye on the dog. Muppy was manipulating the toy and turning it this way and that, until the little dog was looking out of the window and then he laid down and rested. I could not believe my eyes!!!!

When I told Mike, he would not believe me and told me that I had been sniffing crack. The next day, Muppy did the same thing - but this time I grabbed my camera! It takes him about five minutes to get the toy facing out the window, then he will lay down and relax and the two dogs sit there and watch the great outdoors. Muppy was looking outside, just before he heard me coming with the camera and stood up or I would have been able to get the perfect shot of the two of them. I am going to keep trying to catch him in the act. What a stupid dog!!