Mad Cow

I seriously just witnessed the funniest thing!!! On my way home from the Inn to get some kits for some of the ladies, I have to travel highway 6 for most of the trip. About a mile from our turn off is a farm that is literally almost on top of the highway. It is an old, old farmstead, as they would never allow anyone to build that close to a major highway anymore. As I was approaching the farm, I noticed some dark animal-type thing go running across the road ahead, run up over the highway and down into the opposite ditch, with a person in hot pursuit. I thought it looked like a young colt, but as I slowed down and rolled to a stop, I saw that it was the skinniest, sickest looking yearling that I have ever seen. It was obvious that this poor animal had been sick for a while and the farmer (Jamie) and his teenage daughter (Emma) were doing their best to head the escaped yearling back into the farmyard corral for treatment. I could tell by the way that the animal was running, it couldn't see out of one or possibly both eyes.
Sunday afternoon, highway full of 5th wheel trailers, SUV's and motorbikes, slowing down and piling up on both sides of the unfolding scene. It was causing quite the traffic jam! I was the first car in line, heading south and behind me is a big jacked up 4x4 with a spastic white dog in the back, barking his head off. The yearling keeps running back and forth over the pavement, from one side of the highway to another and no progress is being made. I start pulling on my coat(its drizzling) and getting ready to exit the car to help when I see the motorbikes pull out of the line up and start passing cars. Idiots!! I have chased enough cattle to summer pasture along this highway to know that tourists can be the most impatient, ignorant people on the face of the earth. So for a few split seconds, I cursed the bikers, until I saw that they were coming to help.
So imagine this scene: two Ninja type bikes come forward to assist. They are wearing those aerodynamic helmets that make them look like big, menacing grasshoppers. The yearling "sees" (or senses) the grasshoppers coming at him and FREAKS!!!! He runs and staggers into the east ditch, at which point the big 4X4 behind me crosses the opposite lane and veers down into the ditch, at top speed. At which point the stupid dog figures that they are crashing and leaps out of the back of the truck, starts running around and barking. At which point, the yearling runs out of the ditch and right into the front end of my car. My new Buick Enclave - Tiger Woods chocolate brown version, just like in the commercial. At which point, I am pissed off!!
Jamie is trying to apologize at the top of his lungs by yelling "He's Blind!!", "He's Blind!!" to anyone who can hear above the whine of the Ninja bikes, the barking of the dog and the squealing of the engine of the truck that I believe was now firmly stuck in the ditch. I resisted the urge to shout back "No shit, Maynard!" (But that might not be neighbourly) What did he think? We'all thought the steer was deaf?
The Ninja bikers are driving around like buzzing bees, people are getting out of cars, more bikers start pulling out of line and then the staggering yearling takes off due north - behind my car and the chase proceeds behind me. At which point, I decide that I had better take a look at my car and I drive away. (Not very neighbourly of me, eh?) In my rear view mirror, I can see that the Ninjas are winning and they have the yearling turned around and headed back south. Which is never going to work, because while they were gone, the line up of cars advanced forward and are now blocking the entrance to the farm lane. Go figure! Dumb tourists!! As I go over the hill, I just had to chuckle, I wonder what that yearling thought he was seeing when those grasshopper helmets came at him.
All the way home, I kept thinking about how I was going to explain this one. But, luckily my car is fine and a hour later when I came down the hill, headed back to the Inn, the highway was clear, the truck was out of the ditch and I could see Jamie and Emma over at the corrals and in the corral was one skinny, red brockle faced steer. Mission accomplished!