Okay, I may be a bit spoiled and sometimes I do whine and snivel, but I really am getting a bit crabby due to the fact that my holidays are all but gone and not even one day has felt like a vacation! This summer sucks!!! Big time!!!!
Monday - Get up early and drive down to the Inn to see if all of the boxes and totes that are destined for Calgary will fit into Colleen MacDonald's car. Parked beside each other, the two cars do not look anything alike, as far as cargo capacity goes. Colleen assures me that she can fit everything in, but I think that she is going to have to leave both girls behind to do it! Holy, Moly, can she ever pack a car. Half an hour later, I convinced that she has a magic wand, everything fits and both girls can go home with their mom. Call Christy and leave message with daughter, for Christy to call me BEFORE she leaves the city to meet me (Christy is at the Doctor's office, so I don't call her directly). Need to head her off, so that she does not start driving to Nanton to meet me to pick up the kits. Get busy visiting with Colleen and do not realize that Christy has never called back. At noon, Christy phones to assure me that she is "almost" in Nanton. SHIT!! I guess her daughter forgot to tell her that I phoned. Christy turns around and heads home (saying a few bad words about me, I'm sure) Colleen leaves with the back end of her car almost dragging on the ground. Feel really bad for Christy, driving all the way to Nanton for nothing. Go home and clean out car, just pile the junk in the porch, will deal with that later. Take our 14 year old dog to the vet - not much fun (I think that she remembers the time that she killed a porcupine and had to be put to sleep to have the 450 quills removed from her throat) Help Mike in the field until 9:00pm, when the hay gets too tough to bale. Hay fever starting to kick in. My lips look swollen, sort of like an Angelina Jolie look (not too bad, I think to myself). Just to be sure, I put on some lipstick to see how it would look if I had plump lips. Maybe I should consider Restilin shots. When I mention that to Mike, he hoots with laughter and tells me that my swollen lips look stupid. What does he know, anyway? He doesn't even feel sorry that I am having an allergy attack! Make supper, help Mike go and pick up our new hay rake. Think about the fact that if I could scrapbook a page about the purchase of the hay rake, it would be more fun than actually doing the paperwork on it.
Tuesday - Edna is coming for a full day of income tax, we hope to have the entire four sets of books ready to take to the chartered accountants by suppertime. Everyone decides that Tuesday should be the day to come to the workshop and construct something. It is like a three ring circus, with Edna in the middle, trying to concentrate on figures. She gives it a valiant effort, but at 5:00pm (when she has to leave) she is still bogged down in capital gains calculations due to the sale of the assets of Easy Eaves - thank the good God that there are people who enjoy doing crap like that!!! I would hang myself from a rafter in the barn if I had to do bookwork for a living! I leave Edna to her boring bookwork and go to the field . Spend most of the day helping fix broken hay machines - baler, hay rake, tractor etc. BAD HAY FEVER DAY!!!!! Katrina comes out to clean the 5th wheel trailer for the reunion and pack it for the first trip of the year. I take her home at noon. Finally, when I go home in the afternoon to make supper, I decide to have a bath first and then start supper. Seriously...as I am in the bathtub I hear the phone ring. Not answering, I need to soak this pollen off. The phone stops ringing and then starts again right away. Okay, this must be important. It is Mike, he is plugged up again and needs some tools from the shop. I am not even dry, and again he needs me to get in the itchy, sticky damn hay. I am really cranky when I arrive in the field!!! He does not even notice. We finish fixing the baler and I am headed home to make supper. At this time, he tells me that he will take me out to supper - if I will come with him to the Parker place and help Mike Mayer and his son put on the copper roof above the bay window - only a couple of hours and then we can go for supper. LIAR!!!!!! We go to the job site, we fiddle around with the copper sheets (lots of bending required on the metal brake) we get the roof done - one hour AFTER all of the restaurant's close!!! I am freezing to death, because I forgot to bring a sweater and I am wearing shorts, I am hungry and I am all itchy and swollen up. Delightful...
Wednesday - Mike and I meet Megan in town for coffee and toast before we all go to work. Back to the hayfield...make a round, break down...make a round, plug up, make a round etc.... By lunch time I am ready to slit my wrists to end the misery. Luckily for me, I have an excuse to get out of town for the afternoon, Megan picks me up at 2:00pm and we go to Lethbridge to buy all of the groceries for Mom and Dad's 50th wedding party and Mike's family reunion and Mary's Memorial. We buy a whole truck load of groceries on the hottest day of the week and then have to load them and then unload them - in three different places, as they are for three separate events. Just about died of heat exhaustion. Then we get a phone call that Robin, Gord and Cooper are going to stop out for a drink on their way back from vacationing in the states. Yahoo!! That means that Mike can visit, he will enjoy the company and I can de-swell and stop itching for a period of time. The Bell's stayed over night, which meant that I had a diversion in the morning. It was a beautiful evening, cold beer, a gorgeous view from the veranda and ruined only a couple of hundred, angry, blood thirsty mosquitoes! This ONE night is the most like what I imagined my summer vacation to be like - even if it only lasted about three hours!
Thursday - Mike gets up and goes to the hayfield at 6:30am, but I don't have to help until after Robin leaves. Maybe I should have bribed them to stay longer???? Everyone gets up around 9:00am and after coffee, we check out the progress on the workshop. I think Robin was impressed by the amount of work that had been done since March when they came skiing! Into town for breakfast (Thanks Robin and Gord!!!) Back to the hayfield. New scenario. Now Mike's leg is too sore to push in the clutch, the stump is swollen and red and so I run the clutch. I have to sit on the little dinky quarter size seat (with no back support), bounce around the hayfield and push in the clutch, twice, for every bale. NOTHING ELSE TO DO TO PASS THE TIME!!! (Except hate moles) The radio is all static, there is no wildlife to see, the seat is poking up my butt, I can't feel my right butt cheek at all. Because I came on the spur of the moment (with tools), during a break down, I neglected to bring any cold drinks. I get thirstier and thirstier. Which is when I dream up my next greatest job for myself. I think that there should be a girl on a beer cart (just like at a gold course) that goes field to field and sells cold beer, sandwiches and snacks to all the farmers!!! When I mention that to Mike, he sarcastically replies that was what "I" (or any good farm wife) was supposed to do. I guess he has a point there.... So I bite my tongue and we continue to bounce around until Daniel phones us and tells us that a thunder storm with hail is coming our way. We kick the tractor up a notch, to beat the rain and I undergo a more severe form of torture with the stupid postage size seat. Then a baler belt breaks!! For those of you who don't know what that means, lucky you!!! For any farm wives who have experienced this, (and then the experienced the process of fixing a broken belt) I bet you feel sorry for me. Two hours later, no supper, no drinks, covered in sticky hay that is pasted to EVERY crevice of your body, I am just about suicidal. I'm bleeding up and down my arms from hitting the pick up rake with my forearms as I was pulling hay, I have sharp, little hay slivers in my fingers, I am all greasy (black variety) and there is DUST between my toes and under my feet, with some stuck hay bits between my flip flops and my feet. Not to mention the hay fever issues! As we BOUNCE around at top speed, the photo of Kim and Avery on the boat (that she posted on her blog - on her vacation) comes to my mind. I am so envious that I can hardly stop from thinking bad thoughts. I resist the urge to do bodily harm to Mike and bale him up in the baler. No one would ever find him, as long as I left that one hay bale in the stack yard every year and did not sell it. Would wild animals start sniffing around it if they smelt a decomposing body? Okay, so maybe I had a few bad thoughts. By 10:00pm, all of the hay that was ready to bale is sitting neatly in rows, all baled up and protected from the rain. Which is good, because it is really starting to rain. We get home and I let Mike have the first bath. I wait until the water is hot again and then soak off all of the blood (seriously), sweat, grease, aphids and alfalfa leaves. I am glad that I am past my child bearing years, because I think I am seriously ruined from that damn tractor seat!!! I sleep through the worst thunderstorm of the season and do not wake up....
Friday - I am leaving for the Bloomin' Inn. I have never been so happy to go to work in my life!!! No matter how late the ladies stay up tonight - I do not care!!!!!!! My vacation is over for this week and I am back to work for the weekend and I have seriously never been so happy. Because it rained last night, Mike can not get into the field and so he will probably just rest his leg and heal up. There is no hay in my future for a couple of days - just scrapbooking and resting!!! If we didn't need the money from the hay to pay bills for the next year, I might go and start a small prairie fire (after parking all of our farm equipment in the fire's path), but that might look suspicious.
Monday - Get up early and drive down to the Inn to see if all of the boxes and totes that are destined for Calgary will fit into Colleen MacDonald's car. Parked beside each other, the two cars do not look anything alike, as far as cargo capacity goes. Colleen assures me that she can fit everything in, but I think that she is going to have to leave both girls behind to do it! Holy, Moly, can she ever pack a car. Half an hour later, I convinced that she has a magic wand, everything fits and both girls can go home with their mom. Call Christy and leave message with daughter, for Christy to call me BEFORE she leaves the city to meet me (Christy is at the Doctor's office, so I don't call her directly). Need to head her off, so that she does not start driving to Nanton to meet me to pick up the kits. Get busy visiting with Colleen and do not realize that Christy has never called back. At noon, Christy phones to assure me that she is "almost" in Nanton. SHIT!! I guess her daughter forgot to tell her that I phoned. Christy turns around and heads home (saying a few bad words about me, I'm sure) Colleen leaves with the back end of her car almost dragging on the ground. Feel really bad for Christy, driving all the way to Nanton for nothing. Go home and clean out car, just pile the junk in the porch, will deal with that later. Take our 14 year old dog to the vet - not much fun (I think that she remembers the time that she killed a porcupine and had to be put to sleep to have the 450 quills removed from her throat) Help Mike in the field until 9:00pm, when the hay gets too tough to bale. Hay fever starting to kick in. My lips look swollen, sort of like an Angelina Jolie look (not too bad, I think to myself). Just to be sure, I put on some lipstick to see how it would look if I had plump lips. Maybe I should consider Restilin shots. When I mention that to Mike, he hoots with laughter and tells me that my swollen lips look stupid. What does he know, anyway? He doesn't even feel sorry that I am having an allergy attack! Make supper, help Mike go and pick up our new hay rake. Think about the fact that if I could scrapbook a page about the purchase of the hay rake, it would be more fun than actually doing the paperwork on it.
Tuesday - Edna is coming for a full day of income tax, we hope to have the entire four sets of books ready to take to the chartered accountants by suppertime. Everyone decides that Tuesday should be the day to come to the workshop and construct something. It is like a three ring circus, with Edna in the middle, trying to concentrate on figures. She gives it a valiant effort, but at 5:00pm (when she has to leave) she is still bogged down in capital gains calculations due to the sale of the assets of Easy Eaves - thank the good God that there are people who enjoy doing crap like that!!! I would hang myself from a rafter in the barn if I had to do bookwork for a living! I leave Edna to her boring bookwork and go to the field . Spend most of the day helping fix broken hay machines - baler, hay rake, tractor etc. BAD HAY FEVER DAY!!!!! Katrina comes out to clean the 5th wheel trailer for the reunion and pack it for the first trip of the year. I take her home at noon. Finally, when I go home in the afternoon to make supper, I decide to have a bath first and then start supper. Seriously...as I am in the bathtub I hear the phone ring. Not answering, I need to soak this pollen off. The phone stops ringing and then starts again right away. Okay, this must be important. It is Mike, he is plugged up again and needs some tools from the shop. I am not even dry, and again he needs me to get in the itchy, sticky damn hay. I am really cranky when I arrive in the field!!! He does not even notice. We finish fixing the baler and I am headed home to make supper. At this time, he tells me that he will take me out to supper - if I will come with him to the Parker place and help Mike Mayer and his son put on the copper roof above the bay window - only a couple of hours and then we can go for supper. LIAR!!!!!! We go to the job site, we fiddle around with the copper sheets (lots of bending required on the metal brake) we get the roof done - one hour AFTER all of the restaurant's close!!! I am freezing to death, because I forgot to bring a sweater and I am wearing shorts, I am hungry and I am all itchy and swollen up. Delightful...
Wednesday - Mike and I meet Megan in town for coffee and toast before we all go to work. Back to the hayfield...make a round, break down...make a round, plug up, make a round etc.... By lunch time I am ready to slit my wrists to end the misery. Luckily for me, I have an excuse to get out of town for the afternoon, Megan picks me up at 2:00pm and we go to Lethbridge to buy all of the groceries for Mom and Dad's 50th wedding party and Mike's family reunion and Mary's Memorial. We buy a whole truck load of groceries on the hottest day of the week and then have to load them and then unload them - in three different places, as they are for three separate events. Just about died of heat exhaustion. Then we get a phone call that Robin, Gord and Cooper are going to stop out for a drink on their way back from vacationing in the states. Yahoo!! That means that Mike can visit, he will enjoy the company and I can de-swell and stop itching for a period of time. The Bell's stayed over night, which meant that I had a diversion in the morning. It was a beautiful evening, cold beer, a gorgeous view from the veranda and ruined only a couple of hundred, angry, blood thirsty mosquitoes! This ONE night is the most like what I imagined my summer vacation to be like - even if it only lasted about three hours!
Thursday - Mike gets up and goes to the hayfield at 6:30am, but I don't have to help until after Robin leaves. Maybe I should have bribed them to stay longer???? Everyone gets up around 9:00am and after coffee, we check out the progress on the workshop. I think Robin was impressed by the amount of work that had been done since March when they came skiing! Into town for breakfast (Thanks Robin and Gord!!!) Back to the hayfield. New scenario. Now Mike's leg is too sore to push in the clutch, the stump is swollen and red and so I run the clutch. I have to sit on the little dinky quarter size seat (with no back support), bounce around the hayfield and push in the clutch, twice, for every bale. NOTHING ELSE TO DO TO PASS THE TIME!!! (Except hate moles) The radio is all static, there is no wildlife to see, the seat is poking up my butt, I can't feel my right butt cheek at all. Because I came on the spur of the moment (with tools), during a break down, I neglected to bring any cold drinks. I get thirstier and thirstier. Which is when I dream up my next greatest job for myself. I think that there should be a girl on a beer cart (just like at a gold course) that goes field to field and sells cold beer, sandwiches and snacks to all the farmers!!! When I mention that to Mike, he sarcastically replies that was what "I" (or any good farm wife) was supposed to do. I guess he has a point there.... So I bite my tongue and we continue to bounce around until Daniel phones us and tells us that a thunder storm with hail is coming our way. We kick the tractor up a notch, to beat the rain and I undergo a more severe form of torture with the stupid postage size seat. Then a baler belt breaks!! For those of you who don't know what that means, lucky you!!! For any farm wives who have experienced this, (and then the experienced the process of fixing a broken belt) I bet you feel sorry for me. Two hours later, no supper, no drinks, covered in sticky hay that is pasted to EVERY crevice of your body, I am just about suicidal. I'm bleeding up and down my arms from hitting the pick up rake with my forearms as I was pulling hay, I have sharp, little hay slivers in my fingers, I am all greasy (black variety) and there is DUST between my toes and under my feet, with some stuck hay bits between my flip flops and my feet. Not to mention the hay fever issues! As we BOUNCE around at top speed, the photo of Kim and Avery on the boat (that she posted on her blog - on her vacation) comes to my mind. I am so envious that I can hardly stop from thinking bad thoughts. I resist the urge to do bodily harm to Mike and bale him up in the baler. No one would ever find him, as long as I left that one hay bale in the stack yard every year and did not sell it. Would wild animals start sniffing around it if they smelt a decomposing body? Okay, so maybe I had a few bad thoughts. By 10:00pm, all of the hay that was ready to bale is sitting neatly in rows, all baled up and protected from the rain. Which is good, because it is really starting to rain. We get home and I let Mike have the first bath. I wait until the water is hot again and then soak off all of the blood (seriously), sweat, grease, aphids and alfalfa leaves. I am glad that I am past my child bearing years, because I think I am seriously ruined from that damn tractor seat!!! I sleep through the worst thunderstorm of the season and do not wake up....
Friday - I am leaving for the Bloomin' Inn. I have never been so happy to go to work in my life!!! No matter how late the ladies stay up tonight - I do not care!!!!!!! My vacation is over for this week and I am back to work for the weekend and I have seriously never been so happy. Because it rained last night, Mike can not get into the field and so he will probably just rest his leg and heal up. There is no hay in my future for a couple of days - just scrapbooking and resting!!! If we didn't need the money from the hay to pay bills for the next year, I might go and start a small prairie fire (after parking all of our farm equipment in the fire's path), but that might look suspicious.
3 comments:
I'm sorry, but I'm laughing all the
way through this post as it doesn't even seem possible for one person to have to deal with all of this!
You have such a great sense of humour and are so good to post the reality of life with a sprinkling of
chuckles.
I am totally going to pring this post off and read it again, when I "think" I'm having a bad day.
Hope you can sit down and have a nice iced tea this weekend and defog the brain a bit!LOL
Hilarious Cindy!!
You need to get your blog printed into a book - this is better than a diary!
I am glad that you had bad thoughts about Mike, and not Avery and I.... but, if it helps... I was on the boat to escape my mother in law.
Post a Comment