Bad Hair Day - OMG - Really, Bad Hair Day

Okay, I wish that I had a picture of this one to show you. I don't know why, other than maybe I just wanted a change, I asked my hair dresser if my hair was in good enough shape to perm. She assured me that my full, beautiful head of hair was in excellent shape and although I specifically said that I wanted a WAVE in my hair, it didn't turn out that way.
About half way through, when the perm solution ran into my eye and caused excruciating pain, I had buyer's remorse, but by then the cold, stinky solution was running down the back of my shirt, all over my arms (as I tried, unsuccessfully) to hold a towel over my eyes to prevent what eventually happened anyway. I was past the point of no return and entering the zone of dead head. My hair couldn't look worse, unless it was stuck to one of those taxidermy animals. A water buffalo might like my hair, or if they need some dead looking fur to make a Sasquatch out of, I have a donation to make.
It looked pretty dam scary when she gave me my glasses back, but I thought that I had better not gasp and break into tears, so I waited to see what she would do with it. By the way, my bangs did not curl at all ( you must be getting the picture by now) and so they were flat, the rest was an afro.
But, not just a curly afro, the perm solution had leached all of the color out of my hair. I knew that it would lighten my hair and that is why we were perming it two weeks before my next scheduled cut & color. But, the bizarre shade of GOLD that was achieved, even frightened the hair stylist! She quickly suggested that we cut some of it off - so I lost a couple of inches right at that time. With it being so curly, it "boinged" up so that it looked considerably short than it was. Then my stylist applied lots of goop to my hair and sent me home. I didn't look in the mirror all the way home and went directly to the bathroom.
This is what I saw: flat bangs and then a "wedge" of curly hair that stuck two feet past my shoulders, two inches of grey roots, topped off with a ridiculous shade of coppery/gold. I knew that I could not wash it for two days and whatever she had put in it had now made it "crunchy". I tried to put it in a ponytail, but had a hard time fitting a regular size elastic hair band around the bushy, crunchy, golden/grey mess. When I finally got it roped in, I put it in a comb and then took another peek in the mirror. The crunchy ends were now sticking straight up about four inches over my head and I looked like I had been electrocuted and that I should see smoke coming out of my hair at any minute. I lived like this for the two required days. Megan just about wet herself when she saw me at the workshop.
Then, finally, I got to wash it!! Bad idea! The parts of my hair that had previously been highlighted turned into something that I told Christy looked like frisee lettuce. You know... the white/yellow/green/ curly lettuce that looks like tree roots. It just went bizarrely frizzy all over, in strips ( where the highlights were). Which is a big deal when the rest of your hair is already frizzy and this is EVEN MORE SO!!~ When I tried to pick through the hair with my wide toothed hair pick, the frisee, lettuce hair was all rubbery and elastic and just peeled off my head. In little tangled, rubbery, lettuce looking globs.
Christy stopped laughing long enough to suggest that I take a photo. What a friend! I am going to have to get it all cut off, because even after slathering it with conditioner and wrapping it in a towel for the night, I woke up this morning to more rubbery hair peeling off. I am so screwed...